On September 25, 2020, my life was forever changed. I was rushed to the hospital, none of which I can remember. Scary!!! The last thing I remember from that day was stumbling out of bed. I wasn’t feeling well and been feeling off for a couple of weeks. However, none of the symptoms I was experiencing were COVID-19 related, and I didn’t feel the need to seek any medical attention: no fever, or loss of taste or smell, no chills, or flu-like symptoms. I was exhausted, weak, frequently urinating, and extremely thirsty. About an hour after waking up and going to the bathroom for the twentieth time that morning, I noticed my vision was off, blurred, and dim. That’s when I decided that I probably should go to the hospital. The last thing I remember was trying to contact Uber for a ride. I passed out. Thankfully my sister came home and found me laid out across my bed and called for help.
The next thing I recall was waking up in the ICU with several IV’s hanging from me and hooked up to a monitor sometime after midnight. I was in a complete panic. It felt like a nightmare — one of those sleep paralysis episodes. A couple of days later, I was told that I was a diabetic, and I experienced Diabetic Ketoacidosis. In this life-threatening condition, the body produces excess blood acids. My body went into a sugar shock, which caused me to lose consciousness. I was delirious, and nothing hit me until I was released from the hospital.
After being cared for by the wonderful superhero nurses at the hospital, reality slapped me hard when I got home. It finally clicked that I’m a diabetic and that my life will never be the same. I had been deathly afraid of this disease and rearranged my life a decade ago to avoid it. I changed my eating habits and worked out regularly. I worked in the medical field and have seen what diabetes does to the body. I’m not too fond of needles and being utterly dependent on the medicine. However, my medical team provided me with educational resources to help me manage this new normal.
It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I realized what this all meant. I mentioned that I was terrified of diabetes (and hospitals and death). I’ve come face to face with fear, and I overcame it without knowing. This pandemic or any other tragedies that you may have come in contact with may have been something you might have thought to be your “greatest fear,” yet you got through it. You’ve conquered it or found a way to live with it. My point is, it didn’t kill you but redefined you. Allow the “horrors” of 2020 to redefine you.
Now that I’ve faced a great fear, I feel unstoppable. I’ve known my purpose since my childhood, but I’ve allowed fear to hold me back. Not anymore.
My gift to you is for you to live the rest of your life without fear.
Happy ‘21
